For the first time in my life, I went to every Holy Week service--Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday. For those of you counting, that added up to roughly 7 hours in actual service time. As my Scottish friend said, "the ultimate test of Catholic stamina". I enjoyed my week.
Here are some highlights. On Thursday, I helped wash feet (in the loosest definition possible). My friends and I were volunteered by the priest (it's not like we could say no). On Friday, I learned that Brits don't really understand how to zipper lines (possibly from the lack of driving). On Saturday, I went to Ampleforth Abbey (Benedictines) with my Scottish friend and her family for the Vigil. It was really cool and they sung some of the Old Testament readings, but they only did 5 of the 7. On Sunday, I spent most of the day with my Scottish friend's family and it was a lot of fun. (Spending both Christmas and Easter with family, although not my own, has been some of my favorite time during breaks.)
Now for the actual topic. After Mass on Thursday, we (the friends I went with and I) didn't leave immediately. We stayed and, well, I thought, but I'm not sure what they did. I realize that I could have been praying, but instead I thought about the nature of religion. This year has been really good for me to understand things about life I hadn't thought about. After attending Catholic school for 13 years and an ELCA affiliated school for 4, I thought I had the religion stuff covered. As happens, I was wrong.
So, Thursday evening, I returned to one of my ongoing trains of thought: the ridiculous idea of religion. There's part of me that distrusts organized religion--studying history has taught me much about the terrible things people have done in the name of religion and God. But another part of me thinks religion can be a force for good--again, a lesson from history. This is where Easter comes in. Christianity, when it started, wasn't the coolest thing around. So, why would people believe? If they knew they would suffer, why would they subject themselves to it? It seems, to me, to be almost crazy. For some people, I'm sure, this is why they believe. I don't know if that fully explains anything for me. It is troubling, for me, that the initial Christians could be "True Believers"-- not because of what they believed but because of the following 2,000 years of "True Believers" of all sorts. (A secondary topic, that like many things, is not very pleasant.)
So far, I've been dwelling on Christianity in general. Catholicism, I've realized, offers something else. Community, or as my 9th grade Church History teacher called it "koinonia", is central to Catholicism. I didn't really understand it until this year. My main social activity here is with the Catholic Students' Society. Without these people, I'd have no friends and be absolutely miserable. Because of the religion I was raised in, I was able to find people I could identify with and a place to go. Mass is said the same everywhere (in the vernacular, I know, but it's the same). So, while I was thinking about the nature of religion after Mass on Holy Thursday, I was sitting between two friends I wouldn't have met without religion, in a place I wouldn't be without the same people.
I'm not sure I had a point to all of this. But I do, in a way. I enjoy thinking about big ideas. It's why I like history. It's why I'm focusing on postmodernism for my dissertation. And that's the point. Big questions and ideas do not need answers.
This was long and moderately convoluted, so here's a picture. Its a "throwback Thursday" of me with my grandparents at my First Communion.
