Sympathy: feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
In light of recent events (within the last week or the last decade, depending on your definition), the place of empathy in American/Western society needs to be explored. I'm sure many people more qualified than I have addressed this, but I'm going to any way.
As stated above, empathy and sympathy are very different. Sympathizing with someone is very different than empathizing with them. Sympathizing with or for someone allows one to maintain distance. Empathy demands closeness. It demands one to step into a situation. Of course, we can never know what an exact situation may feel like, but we all know something of loss, of fear, of anger. You can sympathize from a distance. You cannot empathize without getting right up next to the experiences of others. Sympathy is clean. Empathy is messy.
After telling my mother about a customer at work yesterday, she said, "We tend to lack empathy." And we do. Otherwise people would not get snippy at service industry workers. We, as a collective, tend to see ourselves as the center of the universe and cannot imagine others having bad days too. Too often we forget, when we have bad days, other people have them too. It is difficult to imagine others complexly. But it is vital that we do.
Given the tragedies in Syria, Beirut, Brazil, and Paris, empathy is exceedingly important. In the wake of disaster, the only response is empathy, compassion, love. There is no place for fear in the face of terror. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said,
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie. Nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.*
There is no choice. In the face of hate, the only answer is love. To see people as people. Further, the response of some Americans is distressing. That governors want to refuse admitting refugees is disgusting. What happened to "give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses yearning to be free"? What happened to the shining city on a hill? What happened to "we are a Christian nation"?
I make references to the supposed Christianity of America for a purpose. I do not believe America was founded on Christian principles (other than those that influenced English Common law). But some people believe it was and it guides their actions. (Thank you pragmatism.) If the United States wants to truly claim its place as a paragon of Christian virtue, than we accept all refugees. Full stop.
Other than Dr. King, who was a minister, do you know who else called for love? Jesus. So, in denying to love in the face of fear, there exists no Christianity. In response to hate and violence, love is the only answer. There is no second choice. "Love your neighbor as yourself" is a call to empathy. Understand that your neighbor, wherever she may live, is just as important and complex as yourself.**
It may sound crazy, but people are people. And the place of empathy is central to that. What one person feels, we all feel. Any violence done to one body is violence done to all bodies.*** We all lose in systems of oppression and fear.
I fear I may have gotten off topic. But, alas, I cannot help it. So, if you lost the plot: Empathy is necessary when dealing with fear. As Fred Rogers reminds us: "Look for the helpers." And, I would add, help. Empathy spurs action. It is impossible to see people as people and then abandon them. But we need to act out of love, not fear, not hate. Americans, and the West more broadly, can afford, in every sense of the word, to help. And we are morally obligated to do so.
*Dr. King is often quoted out of context, and, although I attempt not to do that, I apologize if I have. Also, there is a time and place for action, possibly violent, but in this instance, I think that would be a poor first choice.
**This does not apply only to international issues. Domestically, we must see the killing and violence done to African Americans in the same light as violence done in other parts of the world, although the response must be different. In response to police brutality, love demands opposing power structures and believing, and fighting for, black communities (without appropriating or speaking over their voices). As all things are, this is complicated. But love and empathy first.
***This is an idea I have shamelessly appropriated and expanded upon. I first started thinking about it when one of my friends was giving a homily on processions in Catholicism. He said, "You can't have a procession of one. Either everyone goes, or no one goes," paraphrased. "No man an island" and all that.
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