Non-Classical Poetry, Part 4

Part 4 is a rather drastic departure from Parts 1-3, and the original post, as far as I can tell, can be found here.

Dear Woman,

Sometimes

You'll just be too much woman.

Too smart,

Too beautiful,

Too strong.

Too much of something

That makes a man feel like less of a man,

Which will start making you feel like you have to be less of a woman.

The biggest mistake you can make

Is removing jewels from your crown

To make it easier for a man to carry.

When this happens, I need you to understand,

You do not need a smaller crown--

You need a man with bigger hands.

I love this one because it helps me remember that I should not diminish myself when I am too much for someone else. I am lucky to have always been told this--at least by my parents. And recently, by many other people. But many women are not. You can see this in the plethora of products and advertisements and advice that tell women to be different, to change themselves to fit men's idea of woman.

I have also been told that I have no control over other people's emotions. Now, that is not entirely true, my words and actions have consequences. But, overall, I do not control what people feel. And the same holds true for all people, especially women. Women are pressured to become less themselves to conform to society's ideals. But that is not fair. Should not we be who we are and demand society change?

There is a TEDx talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston that I especially love. She raises many of the same points. The talk is available on YouTube and you should all watch it. She says,

And then we do a much greater disservice to girls because we raise them to cater to fragile egos of men. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller...But what if we question the premise itself? Why should a woman's success be a threat to a man...A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me. I was not worried at all. In fact it had not occurred to me to be worried because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.


These ideas are important. We should not change to fit the world. We should change the world to fit us.